Tales of Chicken
by Shiroyanagi
Summary: Here it is! The newest threat to the worlds of sylverant and tethe'alla: and it's a chicken! Will our heroes be able to defeat this new foe, when they themselves have completely lost their minds! pure comedy, no offense intended
1. Chapter 1

**This was a compilation of random thoughts that my deranged nutcase bro and sis started writing in the middle of my other fanfic when I was momentarily detained. It has no plot whatsoever and the character bashing is at its peak (please take no offense, it is for pure comedy only), but I found it entertaining, so I decided to put it up on to see the response of the outside world. Please no flame, and try to keep reviews positive and G-rated.**

**Disclaimer: Shiroyanagi and her so called siblings do not own any Tales of Symphonia, Abyss, or any other story that appears in here (or something that resembles something else, though unintentional)**

**TALES OF THE CHICKEN**

"This chicken was good!" said Lloyd, "Thanks Genis."

"Well it should be, I made it."

"Now where did you find it?"

"Um … where **did** I find it?

"Oh well, who cares, it was good anyway."

"_Why?! Why did you eat me?" _said an unknown voice,_ "WHY!!??_"

"What was that voice? Ugg, my stomach hurts!" said Lloyd.

"Are you all right?" Genis asked.

"_I am the chicken you just ate_."

"What?" asked Lloyd.

"Who are you talking to Lloyd?" asked Genis.

"_I am the great chicken demon from Niflheim and your friend killed me as I was going to destroy your world and now I will use your body to do it! HAHAHA!!_"

"What are you talking about? Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!! Genis get back, something is wrong!!! Quickly, get Raine Genis!!!"

"_Nothing can stop me, why try? HAHAHA!!!!_"

"Go now!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"RAINE WHERE ARE YOU LLOYD NEEDS YOUR HELP HE'S BEING CONTROLED BY A CHICKEN HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Raine just stared at her clearly deranged brother and then said, "I am going to ignore you now so do not go hitting your head again. Okay? Now what were we talking about Kratos?"

"Ugh, you are useless as usual Raine," said Genis

"I must find help else were I guess," sighed Genis, "Lloyd I hope you're alright."

Just as Genis said that, Lloyd was, in fact, not alright.

"Get out! Get out of my head!!" Lloyd yelled out as he banged his head repeatedly against a rock.

_Ha, what's the use? It's not like demolishing your brain cells will help you, but go ahead, you didn't have a lot to begin with anyway._

"Ah! Shut **up**!"

**Back to Genis!**

"I know! I'll go to Presea!"

And off went Genis on his LONG and PERILOUS quest to find Presea.

**5 Minutes Later **

"Boy, that was a tough journey, but now I have finally made it! PPPPRRRREEEESSSSEEEEAAAA!!!!!"

And there was Presea upon a rock, clad in a strange-bunny-like costume of sorts.

"Loopledoo?" she asked curiously.

(oh, Genis what are you doing here?)

"Lloyd needs your help!!"

"Loop le loo?"

(Huh? Lloyd needs my help?)

"He's been possessed by a demon chicken, do you know how to help?"

"Loople? Doo le loo de di."

(That's all? Demonic chickens are easy to get rid of.)

"Di de loop…"

(First you need to……)

"Uhuh, uhuh, thanks Presea this should help a lot."

"Loo leloop."

(Glad to be of help)

"Bye now!"

"Ledoo!"

(Bye!)

After, Genis walked till he was where he started and wondered, "Hmm, I wonder what Presea was saying. Oh well. I bet it wasn't important! I guess I'll try asking Sheena. But first, I'm hungry!"

So Genis went on his merry way to get some food. Genis conveniently found two bushes of berries. One had oval shaped berries that were a really deep red and the other had some that looked like little skulls.

"Hmm… which one should I eat? There's a small voice in my head saying this is a bad idea, don't eat either. But there's an even bigger voice saying eat them! EAT THEM BOTH!! Hmm…I'll eat…both!

And with that he grabbed a handful of both and started to eat. As he ate there was a quick flash behind him and a voice:

"No! I'm too late, he already ate some!!"

"Whoa what the heck was that!?" Genis cried.

When he got a closer look at the thing that was on its knees and hands, he tapped it on its shoulders. What turned was: a red furry thing that had a humanoid figure and a round orange nose with its mouth open forever in a grin.

"AHHHHHG!!! The Sesame Seed Street monster, Ermo!!" Genis let out a horrified scream.

"Wait! It's me! The thing said while taking off the over-sized head. But it only scared him more.

"It's taking off its head!!! It's taking off its monstrously large head!!!" Genis screamed, quite obviously freaking out.

"Wait it's me She-!"

But it was too late. Genis, who had lost all sense of anything, cast Meteor Storm on the thing.

"DIE! DiEe you freak of nature!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" the voice faded distantly.

When Genis finally calmed down he checked the rubble.

"Groannn…. "

He heard the noise and looked down.

"Sheena! Who could have done this to you?!" he asked, horrified.

"…."

"What was that?"

"…_**you**_."

"Me? What's that suppose to mean? Oh well, hey Sheena, yummy berries what some?"

"Sure!" Sheena shot up looking as though she was never hurt.

"I have these red oval ones and these skull looking ones, which one do you want?"

"Hmm…I'll have …both!"

"Good choice!"

After they ate some of them Genis asked, "Hey Sheena. Why did you come here anyway?"

"Hmm… why did I?"

She looked at the two berries and thought.

"Why **did** I? Oh, fuuu-dgecilces!!"

"What is it?"

"These berries… are delicious!"

"Yeah…"

"But they're poisonous."

"Hmmm, well, that **is** a problem…"

"Indeed."

A moment's pause and:

"**AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"** Both idiots- er great heroes went rushing off to find a way to save their meager lives.

"Raine! Help us!!" They both yelled in unison.

"What is it now, you hit your head again Genis?

"NO!! Well…maybe, But that's not important!"

"Raine we ate some berries and they turned out to be poisonous!!!" Sheena yelled.

"Whoa, Sheena where did you come from?!"

"That doesn't matter! Help us!! Don't you want to help your dear bother and friend?!"

"Hmmm…" Raine said while looking like she was actually thinking about it.

"WERE GONNA DIE!!" They both whined.

"Shut up you idiots! I will help you guys out but-"

"WERE GONNA LIVE!!!" They both cheered.

"BUT! Raine yelled to get there two second intention span. "There are only two choices that I can think of that **might** help you guys. Either, I can try using a full blast recover on you, but that might blow you up because all the energy being directed at your bodies. Or I can kill you and hope that resurrection will bring you back fully healed, your guy's choice."

"…You're evil." Sheena said

"…Can you say the choices again?" Genis asked.

"Recover it is! Kratos hold them down!"

Kratos appeared from the shadows and grabbed them.

"How could you Kratos!!!"

"Get ready!!"

"NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" There screams could heard through out the entire world.

"I'm never gonna eat another berry again." Sheena moaned.

"Yeah…Hey look there's a berry bush, want some?"

"…Sure!"

"Boy, you guys sure are stupid" said a familiar voice.

"Ll-Lloyd? No your that chicken, aren't you. " Genis said quivering.

"Yup." It cheerfully.

"Chicken? You don't mean." Sheena said disturbed.

"Yes. Wait how do you know about the chicken?"

"…Does it really matter who knows about chickens and what not?"

"kinda"

"Shut up."

"Yo, idiots aren't you gonna ask why I'm here?"

"Oh, um yes. Wait let me get back in serious mode. Ahmm" Genis cleared his throat. "Why have you come here chicken" he said with a serious face.

"That's more like it. I have come here to kill those who I see as a threat in my plan to take over this world."

"You see as a threat? Wow never thought a chicken demon would see us as a threat. This is a step up for us Genis my friend."

"Yeah! Were gonna soar higher heights now!"

"I wasn't talking about you idiots."

"What!! Then who were you talking about!?"

"That man and woman behind you, of course!"

"Kratos and Raine, what?!" Genis and Sheena yelled.

"It would seem like we are considered threat to a chicken." Raine said

"It would seem so." Kratos said

"So" Raine sighed "what should we do? He's your son."

"How did Lloyd get into this situation?" Kratos sighed.

"Hey I'm Here to kill you don't go into your own little world!" The chicken demanded.

"Do you really think you can kill me? Kratos said with a glare.

"No, But do you think you can hurt your son?!"

"_Shoot, I didn't think about that!"_ Kratos thought.

"Now Die!!" The chicken charged at Kratos with his swords pointed out.

"Nooo!!" Genis yelled as he ran in front of the swords.

_Stab_

"Why?" Lloyd said as he was regaining control.

"Lloyd, I could never fight you."

"Genis…why…why did you put…Zelos in front of the blades?"

"Yeah Genis… I'm kinda wondering that my self," Zelos said while removing the blades from his stomach.

"Don't worry, you're not gonna die you're much too stupid," Genis said with a reassuring smile.

"Gee thanks," His voice think with sarcasm.

"Hehe HAHAHA," Lloyd burst into laughter.

"Hey Lloyd what's so funny?" Genis asked "Wait…No!"

"That's right! Did you think that a heart warming scene like that would get rid of me?!"

"What are we going to do now?! That heart warming scene was are last plan!" Genis asked Sheena

"How I'm I supposed to know?!" Sheena yelled.

"There's not much we can do except…" Raine's voice got quieter.

"Except beat the chicken out of Lloyd," Finished an unfamiliar voice.

"Who said that?!" Kratos demanded.

"It is I…Regal!"

"Loop-Loop!"

"(And Presea!)"

"What are you guys doing here?" asked Sheena.

"I heard about Lloyd and came to help you guys out," Regal said.

"So how is beating up Lloyd gonna get the chicken out?" Genis asked.

"Simple, if the host body is unsuitable the chicken will seek a new body. So when it comes out we can destroy it by casting magic. Simple, no?" Regal said.

"But if we plan on doing that we need some heavy duty weapons. That's why I brought this!" Regal took out a big metal bat. "This should do the trick."

"What happens is we kill him before the chicken comes out?" Genis asked while stepping far away from Regal.

"… We're never going to know unless we try, right?!"

"La-Li-doo!" Presea raised her hand in agreement.

"(I agree with Regal!)"

"I agree with Presea, this is a bad idea!" Genis said.

"Doo-loop."

"(I didn't say that)"

"You agree with me, don't you Kratos? He's yourson!"

"I have no objections" Kratos shrugged.

"_What an evil father!!!_" Thought Genis

"So, no one has any objection, right? Let's go!!" Regal smiled maliciously while looking like a kid in a candy shop. Except he had a metal bat.

"All right Lloy- I mean chicken time to die"

"Hey guys what's happenin'?" Lloyd smiled cheerfully.

"Lloyd!" Genis yelled, "What happened to the chicken?!"

"Well, he said he was bored and it wasn't worth his time taking over the world. Weird huh? Mentioned something about a bunch of absolute, total cabbage heads who wouldn't even realize they had been invaded."

"Well I'm just glad you're ok! Right everyone?" Genis cheered.

"Yeah…" a hint of disappointment could be heard.

"Can't believe I didn't get to use my bat," Regal grumbled.

"Hey Regal, how come you have a bat?" Lloyd asked.

"No reason," Regal said as he threw the bat behind him.

"Hey guys I'm back from the hospital-Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!" Zelos cried out as the bat hit him right in the head. "What's your guy's problem with hitting me?"

"Hey, when did you even go to the hospital?" Raine asked him.

"**What** hospital? Where do you see any hospitals? Everyone knows you just walk into an inn, the screen goes black long enough for the little "happy sleepy" music to play, then you're all good," Lloyd pointed out.

"Bah! Who cares? We can just gorge ourselves on fruity flavored gellies and BAM! we're good!" Regal countered.

"And we don't get fat!" Collette popped up.

"Gah! Collette?! Where were you?!" Raine exclaimed.

There was a pause as Collette was thinking, "…I don't know…" She appeared mystified.

"You know what? I'm feeling kind of hungry," Lloyd said.

"What do you want to eat?" Sheena asked him.

"I have some yummy berry sauce. You want some?" Genis asked.

"Sure!"

"Do you want any thing else to go with that?"

"I think I want…some chicken!" Lloyd exclaimed.

And the moral of the story is…well, there isn't one, on account of nobody **learned** a darned thing.

**Please do not take any offense. As was stated previously, this is purely comedy and meant for a good laugh. If you found this enjoyable, expect a sequel in the near futute. If not so, there will still be a sequel, but you do not have to bother yourself with it. However, reviews (preferably positive ones) would be highly appreciated.**

**Thank you,**

**Shiroyanagi (and the psycho runts)**


	2. Chapter 2

Lloyd knew the chicken was coming back

**It's what you've all been waiting for! The second zany, random, and nonsensical, installment of the Chicken series!! Bwahahahahaha!! Again, this is written by a twelve year old, edited by a sixteen year old. Result: it's gonna be weird. So anyway, we hope you enjoy it for the light and humorous piece that it is meant to be. Please, no flames, and comments are appreciated. **

**Disclaimer: Neither Shiroyanagi or associated writers own Tales of Symphonia, Tales of the Abyss, or any other character or plot line referred to in this story, intentional or otherwise.**

Lloyd knew the chicken was coming back.

"_Hahahaha_," laughed the chicken, "_I'm baaack._"

"Aaaaa!!" Lloyd yelled.

"Are you all right Lloyd?" asked Raine.

"No! Get back Raine, get back! The chicken is taking over my mind! Get out of my mind!" yelled Lloyd, "Aaaaaaaaaa!"

Then Genis came and tried to exorcise the chicken by using holy artes.

"PRISM SWORD!!" yelled Genis.

"Aaaaaaaaggh!!" yelled Lloyd.

And, of course, instead of producing the desired effect, the spell only managed to pish off the chicken. Hence, Lloyd attacked poor Genis.

"No!!" shouted Raine.

All of a sudden, Genis started to laugh maniacally. He swiftly turned and lunged towards Raine.

"No!" Raine yelled again, then used Colette's body as a shield.

"Wha-?! Why are you doing this??" asked Colette.

"You're an angel, you can take it. Don't worry, this will be good for you!"

"You're mean Raine!!" whined Colette.

"Ah, shut it!" said Raine.

It was then that the brave and dashing Zelos (at least in his own words) jumped out to save Collette.

"It's all right my little-," just as he could finish his sentence, Regal came in upon a fiery phoenix in shining armor, while holding the Kusanagi Blades. He shot a super energy ray at Zelos, sending him to the other world of Auldrant, then proceeding to catch Colette (who apparently did not get blasted off by this supa-ray).

"Thank you," said Collette.

He then swapped Colette with Raine to leave her to fend for her self against the possessed Lloyd and Genis.

I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I

"We have made it to Auldrant," said Regal as he rode on the phoenix in shining armor.

"What will happen to Colette?" Raine mused.

"She has to learn how to fend for herself, become a man! Plus, she annoys the heck out of me."

"Me too!" said Raine.

Just as they began their bashings of their unfavourite persons, a big burst of energy came out of the sky.

"HOW DARE YOU!?"

A chill ran down there backs.

"Kr- !" Raine pointed to a mass of threatening aura floating in the sky (yeah, blue sparkly wings- so scary).

"HOW DARE YOU LEAVE MY SON TO BE CONTROLED BY A CHICKEN!!"

"Kratos! How did you come to this world!?" cried Regal.

"YOU DESERVE TO BE TO BE PUNISHED!!"

"Wait! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Raine appeared indignant, "Hey! You left him too!"

"JUDGMENT!!"

The two disappeared in a burst of light, into a graceful oblivion….yeah, not really. They merely shot off clear into the sky.

"Justice has been served," smirked Kratos, "Now, I think I'll go have some tea."

With that, he poofed in a cloud of pixie dust.

Just as the two sky born companions had thought they would crash, they landed in the duke's manor.

"Aah!! Who are you people!?" yelled an angry Luke, "I demand you people thrown in jail!!"

Just to that order they where put to jail where they met Zelos who was to be executed that day.

Sob went Zelos. "Goodbye my old friends."

"Hehe, like we care," said Regal and Raine, "Now we must plan are next course of action: 1. Jail break 2.Push Luke fon Fabre down a well 3.KILL KRATOS."

Just as Regal and Raine were about to use Zelos's head to bust open the cell, a puff of smoke momentarily blinded and choked them. Out of the smoke appeared:

The big, purple dinosaur.

"Aaaaaaaaah! Nooooooo!" they all cried.

"It is I! (cough)" the dinosaur pulled of his head and-

"Oh my g-! Oh, it's you," Raine sounded almost disappointed.

"I, Sheena, have come to save you (cough, cough)!" said ninja looked triumphant, as if she had already rescued them and demanded their adoration and respect.

"Hey, where did you come from?" Raine asked.

"If I told you, I'd have to kill you in a most gruesome and horrid manner, which includes tiny pencil erasers."

"Uh…okay…where did you get the suit?" asked Zelos.

"What suit?" Sheena asked in wonder.

"What the he-?! It's gone! When did you change into your normal suit?!" Zelos looked back and forth between everyone, hoping for some support. He did not get it.

"I honestly have no idea of what you are talking about," Sheena looked at him as if he was insane, "Oh, well, let's go."

"_I summon thee, envoy from the dark abyss: SHADOW!_" chanted Sheena, "Shadow help us get out of this jail cell!"

"_Yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss-"_

"Stop that!" said Sheena.

"S_orry," _apologized Shadow

"Okay, now we must stand near shadow for this to work."

Shadow moved to pull the group through the wall, but every time he tried, he would hit them against the wall because they were solid and he wasn't.

"Ow!...Ow!...Ow!...Ow!" they all whined as they were repeatedly slammed against the wall .

"Ok, would you stop doing that?!" asked Sheena.

"_Yesssssssssssssssss-_"

"Don't start!"

"Ok let's try someone else. _I summon thee, hammer of godly thunder: VOLT!_ Now blow open the wall!"

"…"

BOOM!! The wall exploded as Volt used Spark Wave in his silent and deadly manner, leaving nothing but dust.

"What?! What was that?!" shouted some guards.

"Hurry, the prisoners are escaping!"

"What do we do?! The guards are coming!" exclaimed Zelos.

"There is only one thing we can do," sighed Regal.

"Is that our only option?" asked Sheena.

"I am afraid so," nodded Raine.

Zelos asked curiously, "What are you guys talking-"

"Sorry Zelos, but this for your own good!" yelled Regal as he tripped Zelos, "Or ours I guess."

"Aaaaaaaaaaa! What are you doing!?"

"Hey isn't that the guy who was to be executed today?" one of the guards asked.

"I think it is! Get him!" added Regal from the side.

"Restrain him! Maneuver 26, go, go, go!"

"EVERYONE, except Zelos, RUN!!" yelled Regal.

They all started to run at a dead sprint.

"How could you guys do this to me!? NOOOOO!!"

Those were the last words they heard from Zelos before he was crushed beneath the dog pile of guards.

The remaining party was just about to reach the end of the hallway when they heard a clapping sound.

"Very impressive to have made it this far but, I'm afraid this is where your journey comes to an end," a familiar voice laughed.

"Hey, it's that red-haired kid that threw us in jail!" exclaimed Raine.

"You're right!" agreed Regal.

"Hehehe, that's not entirely true," he gave an evil smirk.

"Oh no, it can't be! You couldn't have followed us to this world!" Sheena's face showed pure shock.

"Oh, but I did!" 'Luke' laughed manically.

"What are you guys talking about?" asked the confused Regal.

"Hey, how does Sheena know about the chicken?" asked Raine.

"That is for another time…"

"Really?"

"No."

"ChIcKeN? Oh, this guy's back," Regal realized while rummaging around for his unused bat.

"I am the great chicken demon! No one can escape my wrath! HAHAHAHA!!"

"Shoot! The brat has been taken over by the chicken!!" yelled Raine in feigned annoyance (inside she reveled in the fact that she too would get a chance to use the bat).

"NOW DIE!!" screamed the Luke gone chicken.

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" they all yelled.

"I have no choice!" yelled Sheena.

And out came a bomb.

"Sh-Sheena what are you doing with that…?" Raine eyed it warily.

"Don't worry," said Sheena with a smile as she threw it.

As the explosion ripped through the very fabric of space, it opened a gate back to Sylvarant.

**Back to Genis and Lloyd:**

"AHH! GENIS! LLOYD! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!" screamed a terrified Colette, "REMEMBER THE GOOD OLD DAYS!"

In her fear, she pulled out her angel wings (cough fairyesque cough), and a bright flash of light emanated from her.

"Col… Colette, is that you? Wha…what happened?" said a dazed Lloyd.

"Every thing is okay, Lloyd. I sav-"

"Now I remember! WHAT GOOD OLD DAYS!?" yelled Lloyd as he lunged towards Colette with swords pointed at her.

"NOOOOO!!" screamed Colette.

A big grin appeared on his face, "Hehe, just kidding."

"R-really?" Colette gave a sigh of relief.

"Nope."

As he lunged toward Colette, a bright explosion sent Lloyd into the wall.

"Wha-what's coming out of the smoke?!" said Colette.

They could see a thin outline of two people.

Colette let out a shriek, "Eeeeekkkkk!!"

Just out of the smoke appeared: two Katz looking things.

"It is we!"

But before the thing could say anymore Colette threw her chakrams at the figures. The rings embedded themselves into the fat bellies of the Katz… which apparently had no effect. When the smoke cleared up they could see the faces of: Yuan and Botta.

"Yuan, Botta! What are you doing here?" Collette asked.

Totally ignoring Collette's question Yuan and Botta started to talk.

"Dang it! How could we mess up!? We were supposed to secretly come and capture it!" shouted Yuan.

"Sorry sir! It looks like we made a miscalculation with the explosives," apologized Botta.

"Argh! Looks like we need to try better next time. For now, we take our leave!" Yuan declared.

Just as Botta was going to set off another bomb, another explosion happened.

"Botta, I thought we had an agreement of only 5 bombs per day! This will be coming out of your pay check!" scolded a ticked off Yuan.

"But sir, it wasn't me," Botta shrugged helplessly.

"Then who was it!?" Yuan demanded.

"Cough, cough. What's wrong with that psychopathic ninja?! I mean really, who in their right mind would throw a bomb to open a trans-dimensional pathway?! Wait, where are we?" a very confused Regal emerged from the blast zone.

"Hey, I think we're back in Sylvarant!" Raine appeared, triumphant, "Oh, look, its Yuan and Botta. They usually know something about what's going on, get them!"

Without any time to react, they were tackled by Raine and Regal.

"Quickly, get them to an interrogation room!" cried Raine.

"Hey, I think we knocked them out," Regal realized.

"Ah, who cares?! Let's go!"

When the two woke up they found themselves strapped to a chair with duck tape (and yes, it was **duck** tape, with cute little duckies on the tape, like little band aids) in a dark, dark room. With a click a harsh light blinded them, the rest of the room still draped in darkness.

"So, tell us what you know!" Raine's voice commanded out of the darkness.

"Huh, what do you mean?" Yuan asked innocently, with wide-bug eyes and quivering lip.

"Don't lie to us!" Raine came out into the light and slammed the desk in front of her, "And BTW, don't do that again. It's just wrong."

"BTW?" Yuan said, earning him a slap across the face.

"Raine, I don't think yelling at them will do anything," Regal said reasonably.

"Fine! Do it your way!" Raine gave the two half-elves an evil glare and with a low whisper, "I'm onto you two...". She then retreated slowly back into the darkness.

"Now, what do you know?" Regal asked sweetly.

"What makes you think we'll tell you about the chicken?!" yelled Botta.

"Noo! You idiot!" Yuan shouted.

"Hah! So you do know!" Raine jumped out of the dark and pointed an accusatory finger.

"Infidel! You told them we knew about the chicken!!" Yuan was indignant.

"Sorry sir, I crack under pressure…"

"What pressure?! They asked us **two** friggin' questions!!"

"Aaaahhhhhhh, PRESSURE!!" Botta ripped out of the tape and pulled off his coat to reveal a pack of dynamite strapped to his chest, "I'll do it, I will!"

"Whoa!! Botta's lost it!!" yelled Raine and Regal as they jumped out of the way of the nutcase.

"No! I was afraid this might happened!!" Yuan said, suddenly ripping out of the tape, "Hurry, Alpha Squadron B, this is a Code Red-blue emergency! Botta must be restrained!"

Ropes suddenly dropped from the ceiling and people in black suits scuttled quickly down them.

"It's okay Botta, everything's going to be alright," Yuan reassured him soothingly.

"Really...?" Botta said, calming down.

"Now!" Yuan snapped his fingers and a black suit appeared from behind Botta. He karate chopped the bomb nut in the back of the head, causing him to lose consciousness.

"Come now, we must take our leave to H.Q.," Yuan turned to leave.

"Wait! Who are you guys and what's your connection with the chicken!?" Raine prepared an attack.

"Hmm… should I tell these people, who taped me to a chair mind you, our secrets?" Yuan mused aloud.

"You better if-"

But before Raine finished her sentence Regal interrupted, "You **do** know what happened to Zelos, yes?"

"O-of course I do! We have been watching you guys since the beginning! I didn't think anyone would do some thing like that to their own comrade," said Yuan. All of a sudden, he was feeling very threatened.

"Well, what I did to Zelos was a mere act of self defense," said Regal with a benevolent smile.

Suddenly Yuan felt very, very threatened.

"I wonder what I would do if I felt provoked to actually 'take out' someone, as they say," Regal looked as if he was pleasantly lost in thought, "Yes, what would I do? Hmm…"

"Okay! Okay! I'll talk, just keep that freak, who seems oddly happy as he contemplates my torture, away from me!" Yuan broke down.

"Alright! We got him! But first!!" Raine proceeded to violently smack Yuan over the head with her staff, "You were **watching** us the whole time!! That's just _**creepy**_, you sicko!!"

"We are an organization called the R.A.P.," Yuan explained, rebounding from the attack like rubber

"R.A.P?" Raine asked.

"You guys listen to rap music?" Regal added in.

"Maybe they have a corny rap theme song!" Raine said almost laughing.

"Shut up you idiots!!" Yuan exclaimed most indignantly, "R.A.P stands for Resistance Against Poultry! And no, we do none of those things!"

"Kill joy," Raine grumbled.

"To be more specific, we are R.A.P.: C.D.," Yuan clarified.

"So you do listen to rap music!" Regal exclaimed.

"No, he obviously listens to classical music. You know, rhapsody," Raine corrected.

Yuan banged his head upon the wall, "Argh!! No! As in Resistance Against Poultry: Chicken Division!"

"Hey, whatever happened to the Renegades?" Regal mused.

"…That is irrelevant!"

"It wasn't bringing in any money, was it?" Raine smirked.

"Gaah!" Yuan hissed, "We do not speak of these things!"

He turned swiftly, cape wooshing in the wind, "Come, we will-oomph!"

His attempt at looking dramatic was sorely ruined as he walked smack dab into what appeared to be a glass box, falling down on his buttocks.

"Dude, is that a glass elevator?" Lloyd popped out of no where and examined the object, Genis wandering not far behind.

"Hey, what's up?" Sheena appeared from the other side, followed by Presea.

In a poof of sparkly pixie particles, the two fairies-er angels, Colette and Kratos also came forth.

"What's going on?" Raine looked around at everyone, "And what happened to the chicken? It's supposed to be the main conflict of the story!"

"It's probably off possessing some other poor sap," Lloyd shrugged, "That chicken is as random as everything else around here."

"Well, now that you're all here, we can start the grand tour," muttered Yuan, who was nursing the melon-sized bump on his head.

"Of what?" Lloyd asked.

"Of the R.A.P.: C.D. head quarters!"

"A rap studio?"

"No, it's obviously a symphony hall!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

**Yes, you all can probably tell where this is going. But fear not! More sleep-deprived-induced hilarity will ensue. Till next we meet, Shiro and friends are checking out.**


End file.
